I awoke this morning to the sound of the doorbell ringing. We do expect someone to do that every morning – our neighbor who usually joins us for breakfast and rides or bikes with us to school, but this was a good 30 minutes earlier than he usually comes.
“Do you think if I ignore him he’ll come back later or keep ringing the doorbell?” I asked Tony, who was groggy as well.
“I don’t know.”
I sat up slowly, peeling my body from the sheets, remembering for a brief moment those days that I used to get up early, so I could be ready when the world started waking up around me. I’ll get back to those days, I thought, when it’s time.
I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I noticed the doorbell wasn’t ringing anymore. So I slowed down. Then…
*Knock-knock-knock. Then another *ding-dong.
I walked to the door to find my neighbor’s older sister.
“I missed the bus. Would it be possible for you to take me to school?”
This is the third or fourth time this has happened. I can be kind, but I am also wary. Am I being taken advantage of? Oh, what the hell.
“Yes,” I’ll be right out, I said, rubbing the muck from my eyes.
When I got back home, Tony asked me, “Where where you?”
“I took our neighbor to school. She missed the bus.” I paused and then added, “We had a really good conversation. Usually she’s one of many kids I’m yelling at in the neighborhood to stop doing something stupid, so it was actually nice to have some one-on-one time with her. She’s going to high school next year and she’s a little nervous.”
* * *
Made kids breakfast. Put on Luther’s shoes. Ate my breakfast quickly. Wiped dripping egg off my chin with the sleeve of my sweatshirt as I walked out the door. Drove kids to school. Returned home. Listened to my mental list of to-dos:
Call the doctor. It’s time you felt better.
Get groceries before the refrigerator gets up-cycled into yet another bookshelf in our home.
Write. Remember what that feels like?
Yoga. Yeah right. That’ll take too much time.
Read. So many library books. So little time.
Laundry. Ah, it can wait.
Coffee. Nah, too much time considering the water having to boil and beans needing ground.
I felt defeated before I’d even begun. Then, out of nowhere, the mantra hit me. The mantra for today:
This day cannot suck.
The tone of today is This day cannot suck.
And here’s how it didn’t:
- Shared my book cover and spun around in all the love and support that followed.
- Uploaded 10 new custom #secretmessage designs to share
- Witnessed the beauty of someone going through the process of writing out their incredibly achey story. Undone by the courage and vulnerability it’s taking her to do so.
- Breathed my way through 30 minutes of yoga.
- Washed my dreadlocks. Uh, it had been awhile.
- Received a secret to beat all secrets. And no I’m not telling. Secrets are my life blood.
- Watched Teresa launch something that will change and inspire people. You better believe I signed up. I have dreams that still need to see the light of day.
- Asked for something I thought was ridiculous, thanks to Mandy’s prompting, and was told “yes.” No, even better, I was told, “As you wish.”
- Used a Starbucks giftcard from Janae to buy an iced coffee to take with me while grocery shopping AND saw one of my favorite baristas with the black hair.
- Got two new Secret Message Society Zine subscribers! Puts me over the moon every time.
- Scheduled a doctor appointment for tomorrow. Big relief.
- Picked wildflowers with Luther in the field by the grocery store and took them to our favorite check-out clerk. She tucked them behind her ear.
- Ran into Brannon at the park, who I haven’t seen in a looooooong time. I really am still in shock that I saw him. Synchronicity at it’s finest. (Brannon is the one who helped me write my book proposal for my Thrashing Book.) Was seriously encouraged and inspired by that conversation. Could probably write a whole post just about that.
- Heard the word prolific used three times today. That’s a sign.
- Received a rainbow from my daughter.
- Look at me, I’m writing. Right now!
And the day isn’t even over.
I do know this about my mantras. They usually have an expiration date. I’ll probably need a new one tomorrow. But it’ll find me.