We are content with letting fiction be messy, but get into the realms of non-fiction and we as listeners instantly feel prompted by some internal prick that we simply must offer a solution for cleaning up the mess. Fiction or not, let the mess be MESSY. Don’t sacrifice truth for cleanliness and comfort. The messy has a way of working itself out on its own. If there need be a remedy, let the remedy be the very act of confession, rather than this desperate follow-up of sweeping story quickly under rug or this sterilizing reaction of dousing it with bleach. Most times the best thing we can do for another is simply listen to their story, to hear them out. There is great healing in simply being heard. 
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Mandy,
I couldn’t agree more.
I am so glad you write and are so honest. It is always something I look forward to- seeing that you have written something new that I can read and think about. And, usually, relate to!
ah, the power of transparency…….
YES. i so-often wish for a nice red bow to wrap all my mess in, but the truth is that there usually isn’t one. it’s harder to be authentic in present tense than past tense, but i am learning to go there anyway…
As a male I feel like this is just a natural thing or response for me…to fix it.
I hear a problem and my first response is “here is what you should do”
I struggle to let things breathe and just sit there and listen.
I think a lot of that comes from my need to check things off the list, to move on and tidy things up. Cannot leave details up in the air, have to have answers and ending.
This is always a challenge for me.
Hey Kyle, I actually thought if this while writing because I’ve heard this argument from males before. Actually i think i read it in a book during pre-marital counseling. Maybe it IS harder for you guys. I wonder though, have you ever been the recipient of this sort of “fixing” when you would have preferred to have just been heard?
Great question.
I think so, but honestly cannot remember because I love to hear solutions.
But I have been on the side where all I wanted to do was talk and not hear solutions. That feeling of knowing what is right, knowing what I need to do, and even knowing the answers but wanting to hold onto the conversation just a little bit longer.
Maybe that is what it is. The discovery of truth. Some take a while to find it, others have a way of hearing it, but we all are on the same journey of discovering what is happening and listening for it.
or something like that
needed this today… thanks, friend.
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