This is a continuation of a post from yesterday in which I explore two stories that help me in my search for freedom from my biggest fear – the fear of being wrong
The second story involves three workers and their boss.* The boss is leaving for a time and leaves them in charge of some of his wealth. He divides it up among them as he sees fit and expects them to take care of it.
The first two workers went right to work, using the money to make more money. They have to take risks, but they end up multiplying the money they were given.
The third worker decides it’s safer to just stash the money and guard it. He does nothing but wait on the boss to get back so he can hand the money back to him and be done with it.
When the boss returns he is pleased with the first two workers and makes them partners in his business. In contrast, the boss is furious with the third worker and reprimands him for his terrible way of living, so cautious and lazy and worthless.
As I think about the risks I desire to take in life right now, I realize I have a big fear of God being disappointed in me. I fear I will lead other people astray in their faith because I’m not living “by the book.” I fear He will shake His head at me and say, “You shouldn’t have been speaking or writing about me or about how to live life. You had it all wrong. Why didn’t you live by the rules and encourage others to do so as well?” I fear God will think my pursuits too worldly, my desires too selfish, my commitments too unholy.
And then I read this story, and I see this third worker, who was scared, just like me. He was scared of disappointing a boss with high standards who demands the best. He chose to play it safe rather than risk being wrong. And ironically enough it was this choice that made the boss mad. It was the risky creative choice that made the boss pleased.
This story tells me God would prefer my big, messy, creative, risky decisions, even though they may be wrong, over my attempt to simply play it safe in order to appease Him. And that sounds so good I have to pinch myself to believe it.
*Matthew 25:14-30
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Thank you for these blog posts on “What if I Am Wrong?” Being wrong is my greatest fear, also, and it is a fear that I constantly struggle with to keep from controlling me.
This post is especially timely for me, as I am making some risky decisions and changes. Starting next Monday I will be working 12 fewer hours a week, and that really scares me. I made this choice so that I will have more time to work on writing/editing and to start creating my home, but sometimes I question myself. What if working fewer hours isn’t taking a creative risk, what if it’s just me being lazy? What if it doesn’t pay off?
I’m just trusting God that he has provided this opportunity for me and His way is ALWAYS worth the risk. I’m so excited (and nervous)!