When you are scared of being wrong it’s really hard to have an opinion on anything, and as an artist, it’s really hard to have a voice that is worth being heard.
I write a blog post. I save it. I publish it.
I live life.
I learn new lessons.
I start to doubt what I wrote yesterday. I want to delete yesterday’s post, or last week’s, or last year’s.
Sometimes I want to hide because what I learned yesterday was true yesterday and then it doesn’t feel true anymore today. I think, “Why do I write? Why do I say anything? This is silly. I don’t even agree with myself.”
Having an opinion can be scary. Being wrong can be scary. Do it anyway. If we want to be artists, we don’t have a choice.
These words from Natalie Goldberg’s book, Writing Down the Bones, give me great hope.
Don’t identify too strongly with your work. Stay fluid behind those black-and-white words. They are not you. They were a great moment going through you. A moment you were awake enough to write down and capture.
We think our words are permanent and solid and stamp us forever. That’s not true. We write in the moment…watch yourself. Every minute we change. It is a great opportunity. At any point, we can step out of our frozen selves and our ideas and begin fresh.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Mandy, this is so true! I can relate, that’s for sure! And really what difference does it make if we state something one week and feel differently the next, does it come from a sense of duty? of Honesty? That we always must represent ourselves truthfully….I guess for me I must be ok with the way I’m evolving, changing, growing. And let people think what they want. Life is in the changes.
I love that you are talking about all this. I go through it too, ALL THE TIME. Some times more than others, like you say. Some days it’s just so overwhelming and I feel like all my opinions and ideas are wrong or embarrassing, and then the next day it isn’t true anymore, even though I probably have the same ideas but maybe I just feel differently. It’s good to keep in mind during the down times if possible. I especially loved the story about your teacher. If only they realized how much of an impact something like that is (you’d think they would, being high school teachers) on a person looking for a connection, they would be horrified at what they did. Possibly they were treated the same so that’s what they know. I’m so glad you (and I and others) are breaking the cycle by mentoring (in even a small 2 minute way) anyone who wants to connect around ideas and art.