If I am going to take my art seriously, I must first believe that God takes my art seriously. Where does my authority for creating come from?
I am created in the image of God. I am made from the very same spark of Him who painted sunsets, and peacocks and fruits in outlandish and elaborate color schemes. It is no accident that I should long to make things of beauty.
I am God-commissioned. In reading Galatians in the Message version of the Bible, I picked up on this phrase that Paul uses as a defense for why he does what he does.
As I’ve spent time with God in the mornings, I have found Him consistently ministering to my heart. What I mean by this is as I read Galatians and I start to journal about what I read there, I feel things stirred inside me. Dreams are coming to light. Ambitions and passions are being revealed. Hidden hopes are stepping forth and saying, “Hey, I dare you to pick me up again and believe in me. I dare you to do something with me. I dare you to be an artist.” Let me be clear though, what I don’t hear is an audible voice from God saying, “Mandy, be an artist. Start writing and don’t stop.” I sometimes wish I did. It might make it easier for me to follow through on my dreams.
What I’m finding is that a lot of times faith means daring to believe that what I long for God to say is actually what He is saying. That instead of saying, “God doesn’t speak to me like He supposedly speaks to a lot of Christians. I must be doing something wrong. I must not be holy enough.” Instead we say, “Does what I’m feeling and longing for go along with the Truths I read in the Bible? And if it does, could it be possible that what my heart is telling me is actually what God is telling me? Is He planting these longings there? Is this what it means to hear from Him and have a relationship with Him?”
Two books, Desire and Walking With God both by John Eldredge, were instrumental in helping me think that my desires could actually be God communicating with me. Now I know, it can be dangerous to believe we actually hear from God. It can be dangerous making life-changing decisions on a whim. But sometimes there is this little fluttering in my heart, a little nudge, a hope, a glimmer, that is hard to ignore or deny.
John Steinbeck in East of Eden would call it “a kind of glory lighting up in the mind of a man.” And I have been consistently getting that “glory” when I read Galatians and journal each morning about being freed up to pursue writing. Since November I have been hearing it, feeling it, longing to believe it. I end each journaling time in the morning believing I’ve heard clearly from God, but as I go throughout my day, I become unsure. Doubts enter in, comparisons conjure up critique, and soon I think maybe I’m just nuts. So I return again the next morning, moving my pen across the paper as fast as I can, soaking in the words from Galatians, asking Him to remind me. Is it still real? Are you still calling me to this? Do I dare have faith? And He reminds me again, in that gentle fluttering of my heart.
So I feel I have no choice at this point. It’s been 5 months of consistent messages that I believe are from God. I’ve got to start acting. And so Paul’s words of “God-commissioned” have become my own.
I am God-commissioned to be an artist. He is calling me to be a writer. My goal is not popularity. My goal is not applause. If I am not God’s servant I will be a servant to man. I can either listen to what God is telling me to do or I can listen to what man is telling me to do. If I am hearing clearly from God, why not listen and act? Why not move boldly with confidence?
If I am God-commissioned then He is giving official approval for me to act. A commissioned artist is selected to make something personal, unique and specific. I don’t have to wait on people to say I’m good enough. No one person is going to say to me, “Go write now.” I do not have to get permission from my friends, from my family, from past teachers, or from successful writers who deem me worthy. Permission comes directly from God. I don’t need invitation or approval from anyone because God Himself is asking me to create.
My ego is not central when I am God-commissioned as an artist. My appearance is not sacred. I don’t write to be liked or to make myself look good. I don’t filter for egos-sake. I write real and raw and free. I don’t write to prove myself, I write because God has already deemed me worthy. I don’t write to get somewhere, I write because I am already there. I write because I have to and my heart and my God will not leave me alone until my hopes are realized and I become serious about the Artist I already am.
What is God commissioning you to do?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Mandy- first, your writings are already changing the world through the hearts they reach via the web.
So be encouraged! 
Secondly, thank you so much for this. So many times (ok, everyday) I end up beating myself to a pulp that I’m not out feeding the homeless everyday like some people or traveling the world to introduce the nations to Jesus (in a literal sense). I put myself down for not having those “heartbeats” and seriously doubt what mine really is. I know better in my heart, but my head keeps telling me that my “ministry” should look like so-and-so’s or if I REALLY loved Him, I would do these things regardless of whether I feel called to do so. And I know these are lies from the enemy taking me away from my gifts and callings but it’s so hard to tune them out. So thanks for the reminder.
Wonderful, encouraging thoughts! Thank you so much for sharing!
Mandy,
My name is Cindy and a dear artist-friend sent me your blog a month ago. While I’ve been moved many times reading your words, the last couple of days God has used you in a powerful way in my own journey. I’ve had the priviledge of being an arts director at a large church in Colorado Springs during the last 13 years and released my own book a couple of years ago on God’s invitation to artists in the church. However this past February He put a new, global vision on my heart regarding artists who are taking their art seriously and telling story like we’ve never seen before…both in written and visual form…both from the beauty and brokeness that surrounds us on a daily basis. Needless to say the “birthing pains” have started and before long Awakening Artists will be a reality not just a dream. As I’ve struggled with my own insecurities of leading this new vision, God used your words to once again confirm this new calling. You wrote…”If I believe that there is no-condemnation in Christ and that I’m truly free, then there should be no hesitation in me leaning into my dreams for real. I should not trust the guilt or resistance I am feeling. I should try to live the life my heart wants. I should try and step into the path I hear God calling me to every morning…” Tears ran down my face as I was reminded once again what a privilege it is to walk with such a creative God and the responsiblity we have as artists to obey His command. Thank you for saying yes to this new chapter and I pray we both stay on this path before us.
Love…..totally completely love this. I thank God for putting this on your heart, and I thank you for being obedient
Thanks for the encouragement Amber. And what you speak of is equally hard for me…pretty consistently. That’s why Galatians has been so good for me to read. A lot of freedom in that book.
Thanks Kate and Carrie for coming by and commenting!
Cindy, can’t wait to see where God takes you next. Sounds so exciting and your book looks amazing. For those interested, you can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/Saying-Yes-Accepting-Amazing-Invitation/dp/1434799980
I also was sent your blog link by an artist friend and your words are impacting my life in a profound way. I feel like I am on a journey down a parrelel road to yours. Embracing who God has made me to be and acknowledging that I am an artist has been hard and yet at the same time I yearn deep in my soul to use my art for God’s glory. I have no idea what that looks like but I guess as I snuggle up close the the Creator, He will lead me where I need to go. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
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