I can’t remember where I first came across this idea of social experiments, but I am using it more and more. My favorite place to do it is at the grocery store, because it makes my time there more entertaining. But I use these experiments anywhere.
Before I interact with people I try and choose one or two things that I want to try and experiment with. Typically these have to do with character traits that I’m trying to implement in my life. Sometimes it can be a little awkward at first, but I always remind myself it’s just an experiment. Experiments by their very nature are full of mistakes. Here are some examples of social experiments I have tried:
- Not putting myself down
- Saying thank you when given a compliment
- Maintaining good posture
- Dressing how I want and then owning what I picked
- Listening by asking good questions and intently hearing the answers
- Believing I can add value to conversations and speaking up to do so
- Being confident in differing decisions or lifestyles
- Being the person in public that I am in private
- Being extroverted and initiating conversations sometimes even with complete strangers
- Saying no when I want to
I think social experimenting is incredibly childlike. It’s pretending with a purpose.
It’s as if to say, “Here’s who I am if I would just let myself be myself…ready…set…go!”
What are social experiments you have tried or would like to try?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow – love this. You are definitely living artfully. You are an inspiration. Thanks for the honest sharing of you life and heart.
BTW, you have THE best pictures of any blog I read.
I do things like this too – though I’ve never called them social experiments. I like that! One of mine is when I’m in the women’s bathroom with a stranger I try to compliment her on something I like about her like her hair or her earings or dress. I love to see perfect strangers light up and knowing that I made their day. Another one I like to do is in a group of people I seek out the quietest person and try to engage them in a conversation about their story. It’s a fun challenge.
Thank you so much Charlie. I take those compliments to heart.
Maureen – Great additions Maureen. I love to hear about the ways you experiment. I’d probably be the quiet person in the group that you would make talk.
Saying “thank you” to a compliment instead of explaining why I don’t deserve it is a perpetual goal of mine.
One that I picked up from Peter Block (and his great book Community: The Structure of Belonging) is not giving advice, letting others find their own way instead of mine. It is harder than it sounds!
Would that be unless they ask for advice? I think I could work on this one too. Goes along with my “wrestling” question that we discussed.
Mandy, I’ve done this a time or two! I think it’s a great idea to adapt more “experiments” like this into my life! Cuz I’m always working on me and my character! Wonderful suggestions
@Mandy – I think it would include solicited advice. From Block’s point of view, advice is a way of trying to control others, and soliciting advice (at least beyond basic factual information) would be a way of giving your own agency away to someone else, shirking responsibility for your own choices, so refusing to give advice would send the other back to the task of doing his/her own wrestling.
Now that I think about it, maybe I should try not asking for advice. That may be harder, to stay with my own questions a while longer.