My Spiritual Core

I don’t know how I missed it. I played sports from junior high all the way through college. Surely at some point I should have grasped the extreme importance of strengthening my core. But somehow it passed me by, and only recently have I come to understand, appreciate and attempt to work on the strength of my core.

And let me tell you, it’s weak.

It’s like mush.

My body shakes as I attempt to do certain exercises that appear so simple. Is this a joke? Surely I should be able to lay on my back and hold my own legs off the ground. I mean, they’re my own legs. I carry them around with me all the time.

As I’ve been working on my physical core of my body, I’ve noticed a few things:

It effects everything. Because I’m aware of its presence and my attempt at making it stronger, I sense it much more. My core effects my posture, the way I walk, the way I move to pick things up, the way I play with my kids, the way I wear my clothes.

If my movement comes from my core everything feels more balanced, more supported.

There is a settling of my body, a peaceful feeling. My body trusts that I am in fact strong enough, and I don’t have to panic, stress out or force my exercise. Focusing on my core helps me breathe through the hard things. There is inner strength to tap into now. It’s hard to explain, but I sense it. I feel it. I am stronger where it counts.

So why am I telling you all this? Certainly it’s not to brag, because if anything, focusing on strengthening my core has only proven to me how weak it actually is. Instead I’m telling you all this because I am finding it to have VAST CORRELATION to my spiritual life.

I was listening to Christine Caine speak a month or so ago and she talked about the spiritual core. It was at that moment that everything made sense to me. All the shredding I had been doing was leading to me to a deeper understanding of my core, which in turn would apply to my spiritual life.

And I thought my physical core was weak. Wow. My spiritual core all the more so. Things that I was sure I couldn’t do simply because they “weren’t for me,” I now realize that I can and should be doing, but that I have to train my body to get there.

Things like:

• praying for extended periods of time
• serving others
• simply being in God’s presence
• hearing God’s voice
• consistent time reading the Bible
• living joyfully

Lately, I have had a deep longing to be closer to God. I have a renewed interest in knowing Him, being in His presence, flooding my life with His truths, His love, His glory, His hope. But as I attempt to seek Him, I find myself inept to handle too much of any of the things mentioned above. I pray, and I fall asleep. I read the Bible and my mind wanders. I serve others, and all I can think about is my needs, my lack of energy, my sacrificed time. I seek to hear His voice and I can only hear my own. This all has to do with the lack of strength in my spiritual core.

Though I am completely saved and free in Christ, I still have to make an effort to be in His presence. It has nothing to do with Him moving away from me. It has everything to do with me being unable to keep myself near Him. It takes strength in my core. He is God. I am a human. That naturally complicates the relationship.

The things God calls me to are proportionate to the strength of my core. God doesn’t give me more than I can handle. If I want to have a big calling on my life, I have to be faithful in the small things. If I can’t even serve my children and my husband, how do I think I can serve the poor, the hungry? I have to start small, where I’m at. He will call me on when I am strong enough.

So I’m considering myself in core training…both physically and spiritually. And I can’t wait to be able to handle more of God’s presence. How sweet that will be.

I also wouldn’t mind being able to hold my own feet off the ground. *sigh.* All in good time.