Affirmation – You Have What It Takes

I took a big step recently in my life. I agreed to teach some art classes for our homeschool co-op. This meant I would be teaching three different classes once a week to kids age Pre-K – 5th Grade for the entire school year.

This decision was not made lightly. Afterall, who am I to be teaching art? Right? I have no formal training in teaching or in art. I’m not much for standing up and talking in front of others. I hate long-term commitment to much of anything because I don’t like to be tied down. And quite frankly, the organization, prep and planning needed in teaching kind of freaks this perfectionist out.

I was voicing all of this on the phone to a friend. After I got done venting, she said, “So basically, you’re going to do it, you just haven’t gotten up the courage to say yes yet.”

It was so evident to her, that despite my anxiousness, I had a deeper, passionate desire to teach art and that I believed it to be something God had prepared me for, in my own unique way. Down deep I wanted to believe I had what it took to pull something like this off.

“Yes, I guess you’re right. I’m going to say yes.”

Isn’t it funny how our heart and soul can long for something and yet our mind can convince us it’s just not possible or not worth the risk or it certainly isn’t us?

The night before classes were to begin I could not sleep. I tossed and turned. I played over in my mind how the classes would play out, walking through each detail, checking off each to-do on my mental list. I worried about my inadequacies, my plans, my likability. Finally, at about 2 am I had enough. I got up and wrote these words in my journal:

Tomorrow begins a new day in my life as an artist. Tomorrow I walk boldly into a dream, knowing it is by God alone that I arrive there. I am equipped. I am called into it. I am prepared. I am enough. I don’t have to be perfect, nor do the kids. I am excited, inspired, blessed, and able-bodied. I have a heart full of passion to share, to bestow, to pass on. I am stewarding a mystery to the hearts of tiny soul-filled young ones. I have a whole past that stands in line behind me, preparing me to be the perfect person for such a time as this. Christ in me, Holy Spirit led, in the image of an all creative God. I have nothing they can’t have. I am a teacher but to inspire them, awaken them. I’ve longed for this. I will step into it.

When I woke the next morning to face my challenge, I was met with a neat surprise. An artist who has taught me so much, Sabrina Ward Harrison, had left an encouraging note on my Facebook page about me teaching art. To me, it was all the confirmation I needed. I had boldly decided to trust God and find my worth and confidence in Him as an art teacher and in so doing, I was met with a huge affirmation by a brilliant artist, that yes I did have what it takes. Even I.

A couple weeks ago I stumbled upon a “Dreams List” I had made at the beginning of summer. One of the things on the list was teach art classes. I don’t even remember writing it. But my heart felt so light knowing that at one time, I wrote it down on a list of big huge things that were but distant glimmers of hope and today I can mark it off as a risk I was finally willing to take.