Passion Renewed

You might remember this post where I talked about taking a break from reading the Bible. Well, I’m back at it again, and I thought I should let you know some of my reflections on my three-week hiatus.

In typical Mandy preferred fashion, here’s a list:

• The minute I said I was stopping reading it, I had this deep urge to read it. No kidding.

• I couldn’t completely get away from scripture. It would pop up in conversations with people, in other books I was reading, in emails, twitters, on facebook or blogs, even in my own head from scriptures I have memorized. I found it interesting that the Bible is quoted so much that I could still have access to it without ever actually opening my own Bible. I think this has to do with our culture and/or the circles I’m in. I wonder if all this exposure to scripture doesn’t in some ways make it less amazing to us. We take for granted our easy access to God’s word. It becomes common place if we’re not careful.

• I did not feel condemned for not opening my Bible. I thought guilt might set in, but it didn’t. Instead I felt strangely free. As if I had shaken off a huge burden. I think this has to do with the fact that I had made it into a religious practice instead of a discipline fueled by passion.

• I did see God and feel God in other places in my life, but not anymore or less so than I usually do.

• I started to think about what version of the Bible I read and why. I decided when I did start to read the Bible again I would try something very different, like the Message version, in hopes that it would give a fresh perspective on scriptures I’ve heard countless times.

• I also started to desire a picture of God throughout the entire story of the Bible. In other words I started to think about the bigger picture, the broad scope of what it means to be human and to relate with our Creator. I started to think about the wealth of the Bible as a whole instead of just in the choppy bits and pieces it’s usually consumed. In college I read the entire Bible through. I decided I needed to think about doing that again.

• I was struck by this deep desire to have my faith mean something. It was as if taking a break from reading the Bible was allowing me a break from being a Christian, and I was taking an outward look in at myself. Really? Really you are a Christ follower? What does that even mean to you? I think taking a break challenged me to have purpose in what I say I believe. Mere motions and religious talk/actions are useless and they felt (and still feel) repulsive to me. It felt better to take a break from the Bible than to read the Bible just because I was supposed to. I felt like I was being real with myself and with God for the first time in awhile.

So this is where I’m at now. I’m reading the Message Bible. I’m reading in Genesis, working my way through. I’m specifically looking at the bigger picture of IMPERFECT people in the Bible and how God relates to them and works through them. I’m passionate about this topic of IMPERECTion (for obvious reasons) so I think this helps me be passionate about my time in the Bible as well. Also, I’m processing (and talking through with Tony) some of the questions I have about what my faith should look like lived out. I don’t anticipate there being any immediate changes made in my life, but I do get excited about thinking more purposefully about what a life lived by faith looks like.

There is so much power in God’s word. I don’t want to return to consuming it and fail to live it or share it. To me, that would be tragic.