Life Learnings

“It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for what this delicate little plant needs more than anything, besides stimulation, is freedom. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.” ~Albert Einstein

When I think of what we’re doing as a family, I tend to find myself calling it “life learning” as opposed to homeschooling. Life itself does have so much to teach us as we go throughout a normal day. There are no lack of lessons. It’s just going to take me awhile to get acclimated to all the opportunities we have to learn together. I am by no means an expert when it comes to this. In fact, I’m looking forward to attending a local summit later this month with a friend, so that I can glean some more wisdom from other moms.

It was not an easy decision for us to homeschool our children. I’ve done so much research over the last few years that I’m sick of it. You can probably see that trail through past blog posts. I asked advice from friends and family. I watched other families with kids that were homeschooled and kids that were in public school. I read book after book after book. I didn’t feel that the “how to’s” of homeschooling were getting any clearer and yet I felt God’s calling, for us to be a homeschool family, was even stronger. You can imagine how frustrating that was.

Two weeks after Luther was born I told Tony, “I’m not cut out for this. I can’t ever homeschool. God wants me to, but I can’t see how it’s possible!” I was distraught.

Tony told me to give it some time. He said that maybe two weeks after having a baby wasn’t a good time to make that decision. Ah, the humor I see in that now.

But I’ve continued wrestling with God on the matter, and yesterday, the most stress-relieving epiphany came to me…This is what I make it. I don’t have to do it exactly like the books. I don’t have to have an education degree. I don’t have to own expensive curriculum or classroom tools. I don’t have to have everyone’s approval. I don’t have to follow some homeschool moms rule book. It can be IMPERFECT! I have the FREEdom to make this how I want to make it. I have the FREEdom to do what my kids will thoroughly enjoy. It is an art form in and of itself and it requires my creativity!

I thought when I started this homeschool trek that the only way I was going to be successful at it was if I was using someone else’s pre-scripted curriculum. I wasn’t sure if we could afford it, narrowing down the options seemed like a nightmare AND it didn’t sound like fun to me to teach it. Now I realize the reason I felt like I couldn’t come up with my own curriculum was because I didn’t have enough time in my days to give my family my full attention. I have had to be willing to say no to some other things in order to say yes to this. And oh how deeply I want to say yes to this. I feel called to it.

Now, I feel as though God is giving me a passion to use my creativity to meet my kids right where that, developing creative ways for them to learn as we do life together each day.

I am actually waking up in the mornings with an excitement for the day. This is new to me. I used to dread how we would get through our day. I used to fight for pockets of time where I could design. I used to let my kids watch lots of TV so I could have lots of “me” artsy time. But God is changing my heart. I am praying for Him to, and He is doing it. I am now so much more excited about what we can learn together. I am enjoying thinking up creative and highly active ways for us to learn. I actually have the energy for it. Me, who just a couple of months ago had decided I could never homeschool my kids, no matter how much I longed to. Prayer has been radically changing me, as I’ve been calling on God to make our family the family I see in my head and to make me the kind of artist He wants me to be.

It is a long road ahead. I still have moments of great frustration and moments where I want to grab control again and be an artist the way I want to be an artist. I still have days where I feel like a failure. I still have no clue how I will ever teach a child pre-algebra or high school physics. But it’s a day by day process, and I’m finding the more I admit personal defeat and embrace my own IMPERFECTions, the more God comes alongside me and fulfills the deeper longings of my heart. He helps me rise above myself to be that person I so long to be.

Who is really doing more life learning these days? Me or my kids?

There is a pretty cool video of the car track if you want to check it out. And I can’t take credit for a bit of it. This was all the creativity of Tony and my kids while I sat and cuddled a newborn.