This past Mother’s Day I went shopping with my mother-in-law, who just happened to be out visiting. I’m not much of a shopper, so I just kind of followed her lead. We started in Nordstrom’s shoe department. I wasn’t aware that this day would change my life, or my perspective of myself. At first I just watched as she tried on shoes. I greatly admire her taste in fashion, and enjoyed seeing what she picked out. I meandered over to my size shoes and perused. My mother-in-law joined me, and asked me if I found anything I liked. I pointed out a couple pairs of cute shoes I saw, but mumbled that I could never wear them. One was a pair of red high heels with black bows on the toes. The other was a pair of flat dress shoes, black with white polka-dots.
“Why couldn’t you wear them?” She asked.
“I can’t pull-off wearing heels. My sister can, but I can’t. And they’re dress shoes, and I would have nowhere to wear them.”
“Are you kidding? You could totally pull off wearing heels. You would look great in them.”
“I would?”
“Sure, try them on.”
“Ok” I said nervously and slightly embarassed.
As I walked the floor, trying to balance in the high heels, I kept hearing voices in my head.
“This is not you. You can’t even walk in them. You look goofy, like a little girl wearing her mommy’s shoes for dress up. You aren’t elegant enough for heels. You’ll draw way too much attention to yourself.”
“They look great on you,” said my mother-in-law.
“Really, you think? They are really pretty, and they’re a lot more comfortable than I ever imagined heels to be.”
I walked out of that store with two new pairs of shoes. But I walked out with much more than that.
That day I became aware of those voices in my head. I had never verbalized them to anyone, and I had just believed them to be true. I don’t feel elegant. I don’t feel feminine enough. I don’t feel beautiful. I’m just Mandy who came from small-town Ohio, who played sports and dressed boring and didn’t dare draw attention to herself. And, well, I’m kind of getting bored with that Mandy. And I’m kind of tired of thinking that’s who I have to be. All of a sudden the box I felt trapped by was breaking open and I was breaking out. It is invigorating to realize there is much more to life and much more to yourself than you once believed.
What are the things I’ve wanted to do but have always felt scared to do? Who do I believe I am, and is that true? Does it match up to who God says I am?
I am still on that journey (it could take the rest of my life) to redefine myself…in my red high heels…one step at a time.
*Here’s a cool little article I found about being confident with fashion.
** And here’s a photo that inspires me…it’s of my daughter on a day she dressed herself. 4-year-olds care nothing about what people will think of them.
And one more pic, just for fun.
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I know exactly what you mean. I’m the same way myself, always in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I dress up for work, but only in a pair of slacks and a blouse. I treated myself to this cutest little skirt about a month ago and I had a pair of heels that happened to match. I bought them maybe years ago, but never wore them. I wore them to work not long after buying the skirt and felt everything the lady. Everyone was so surprised to see me dressed so girly. Made me feel good. Wear those heels. It’s always a good time to feel great about yourself.
Way to go! I used to think I dressed okay (not great but presentable) until I had two little ones back to back. When my parents came to visit this summer, they treated me to some shopping, and it made me feel girlie again instead of the usual t-shirts I am buying these days. I don’t know if I will ever be up to wearing heel, especially walking all over the church campus.
YAY RED HIGH HEELS!!
believe it or not i just bought a pair myself…before i read this. I guess the desire to “grow-up” to be just like my sister is ingrained in my head. Make sure you wear some HUGE earrings with those high heels.
i love you!
Great shoes! Such a fun story…thanks for sharing it. I’m not a high heel wearer either…maybe I’ll have to go shoe shopping.
My daughter has the exact same hot pink cowgirl boots…and she wears them with EVERYTHING…well, everything that I will let her where them with. LOL!
My grandmother always said the shoe make the person. and alot of people look at your feet to see what can of person you are. What that means if you care what your feet look like then you will care what the rest of you look like. I love to dress up and go out I love to wear my red high heels it makes me feel good in side and I don’t look that bad either.
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