A Tablecloth (which was used for Tony’s birthday party.)
Kites!
A Magical Art Exhibit (The girls did this during rest one day.)
iPhones.
And headbands!
And oh yeah, chasing this guy around everywhere. He’s moving now - full army crawl.
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I was talking about the idea of this with a friend lately. She asked for me to elaborate and I was forced to put into words what exactly I mean when I say I wish to “live a creative life.”
When I say I want to live a creative life, it means to me that I want the willingness to try new things. Trying new things is living creatively: For example - To wear hats, have fun parties, go to the art museum, dye your hair, bake friendship bread, try a new drink, etc. Living creatively is allowing yourself to do some of the fun things in life you want to do. Not only allowing yourself, but purposefully following through to see to it that it happens.
It also encompasses doing the normal everyday things you have to do and thinking of them in a new light…for example: how can I get some creative fulfillment out of chores, out of work hours, out of exercise or eating healthy, out of living on a budget. Changing your mindset to start seeing your whole life as an art form and to pull inspiration from everything.
My desire to make my life an art stems from my deep drive to always be creating. I’ve found that if I’m going to quench this artistic thirst as well as be a mom and a wife and a friend and a educator (and maintain the responsibilities that come with those things) I need to be able to enjoy myself. To enjoy myself, I need to make life creative. If I can live my life creatively, differently, outside of the box, then I can feel fulfilled as an artist and as a mom/wife/friend/Christ follower, etc.
This is to me the art of living creatively. Something I find myself striving for on a daily basis. My blog is the documentation of how I am doing with this pursuit.
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I am intrigued by the very idea of redefinition.
I feel as though I’ve been redefining myself for most of my life. As soon as I figure out one thing about myself, I embark on some new adventure, critiquing who I am and who I am meant to be and who I have yet to become.
I realize there can be a pretty fine line between redefining and posing. Let me share how I think they differ.
Posing is pretending you are something you are not meant to be. It’s full of falsehoods and masks and it’s fake. Posing is feeling forced to be something you are not in order to please others. Redefining is figuring out who you really are in an effort to live at peace with yourself and with who God has created you to be.
Watch yourself. Every minute we change. It is a great opportunity. At any point, we can step out of our frozen selves and our ideas and begin fresh.
One thing I’ve learned with redefinition, is sometimes you have to force yourself to do what feels unnatural until it becomes natural. It can feel like you are playing a glorified game of pretend. This is because your tendency will be to second-guess and belittle yourself. But if you have a clear sense from God, and from close friends, that you are truly seeking to be true to yourself, then you’ll know in your heart of hearts that you are not posing, but redefining. In this case the “pretending” is not really pretending at all. Instead it’s retraining yourself to be who you really are. It’s putting an end to the agreements you have made with Satan about who you are. He feeds you lies, you know? He’s the Father of lies.
So your thought process might go something like this: I want to believe I’m beautiful, but just look at myself. I wear frumpy clothes. I’m out of shape. Why even bother to exercise anyway? I’ll never catch up to so and so (insert name of woman that you compare yourself to) in my fitness. I don’t have time to do my hair or wear make up or any of those things I think would be fun to do. I’m a mom now. Moms don’t have time for such frivolous things.
And in redefining yourself your thought process could start with something as simple as this: I think I’ll wear this pretty dress at the back of my closet today, just because I love it. I don’t have anywhere special to go today, but I just love how that dress makes me feel. And I’ll get up a few minutes earlier or ask my husband for help with the kids so I can do my hair and make up. I love having my fingernails painted. Why not do that? And you know? I feel better when I exercise. I think I’ll plan out a workout program that starts small for me, maybe I’ll even start today with a walk with my kids.
Redefinition can begin small. It can begin in our self-talk. It can begin by pretending you already who God has called you to be. What would your life look like? What would you wear? Who would your friends be? Where would you live? What would you read? How would you spend your free time? What would your family life look like? How would you treat yourself? How would you treat others? You may be surprised all you could put into action right away if you just would let yourself.
I’ve been on a journey of redefinition, specifically over the past 3 years. Through that journey I have learned to:
The list will always go on, because I am in a constant state of redefinition…
how glorious that we are given in every moment the chance to begin fresh.
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As I’m sitting here eating a big ol’ bowl of granola with milk and fresh blueberries, I’m thinking I really need to share this recipe. A few people have asked me for it, and posting it on my blog makes it accessible to all. First I’ll give you the recipe unaltered and then I’ll give you the little changes I make:
Preheat oven to 250 degrees.
Combine in large mixing bowl:
2 c. whole wheat flour
6 c. rolled oats
1 c. coconut
1 c. wheat germ
Blend together separately:
1/2 c water
1 c. oil
1 c. honey
2 t. vanilla
1 T. salt
Add blended liquids to dry ingredients and mix throroughly.
Spread out on 2 greased cookie sheets and bake 1 hour or until dry and golden.
Store in covered containers.
Mandy’s changes:
I leave out the coconut, mainly because I’ve never asked Tony if he likes it. Tony do you like coconut? And I’m not sure if I want little coconut bits floating in my milk.
I also like to include soy flour for some added protein. I probably put about 4 T in, substituting it for the wheat flour. I do this by putting it into the bottom of the measuring cup and then putting the wheat flour in right over top of it. I have made it without the soy flour too and can’t tell a difference in taste.
I always add some sort of nuts or seeds. At first I was using sunflower seeds. Lately I’ve been using slivered almonds (probably 1/2 cup or so). I also like to throw in a handful of flax seed.
I tried adding in some pure maple syrup this last time I made it (adding it right into the honey when i measure it.) It was really good. Oh, and I always add extra honey because Tony like it a bit sweeter than the original recipe makes. So maybe 1 and 1/8 cup of honey? I just guess.
I’d like to try substituting applesauce for the oil, but have not been brave enough yet. I would hate having to throw a whole big batch of this stuff away if it turned out bad. Anyone know if it would work?
One more thing, my kids didn’t like this at first, but it’s grown on them. Now we rarely buy cereal at the store. VERY rarely. They love granola now. Only they call it granella. Nehemiah wakes me up every morning asking if I can get him some granella. They also eat it without milk as a snack.
Oh, which reminds me, it’s great on vanilla ice cream with some berries. Now I know what we’re having for dessert tonite. 
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A few weeks ago I got out for a much needed couple hours by myself in the evening. I was planning on hitting up Starbucks, where I could sit and think and journal in a familiar and comfortable setting. However, as I started driving, it was as if my car had a mind of its own. I knew where it was taking me, I just wasn’t sure if I was okay with it. After all, I’m not spontaneous or impulsive. I like my routines. I’m okay with sameness.
On a certain road, I had seen a sign for Bubble Tea several times. I’ve heard a lot of buzz on bubble tea and in the back of my mind have wanted to try it.
That’s where I was headed in my car.
To try bubble tea.
All by myself.
In a place I had never been.
I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest. Really? Am I really going to do this?
You may laugh that such a small thing could be such an adventure for me, but when you’re used to living a certain way, it can be hard to break out of that mold.
I entered the restaurant, was greeted warmly and told my greeter that I would be dining in, but didn’t want supper just a bubble tea. I told my waitress I had never had bubble tea and asked for a recommendation, which she kindly offered. Jasmine Green Bubble Tea it is then. I sat, drank and wrote in my journal. But mostly I just soaked in the “different.” Did I mention all the conversation around me was in a language I couldn’t understand?
The jasmine flavor of my tea was strong. It wasn’t my favorite, but that’s not what this post is about.
Here’s something I wrote that night:
“Maybe what I am desiring is not the rhythm and comfort of routine, but the pursuit and education and adventure of the new. Maybe I want to taste it all - all of God’s amazing creation - on a global scale. Maybe I’ve been trying to do the same things when what I want is new and different. I get excited about this. The new. The uncomfortable. To see new, taste new, speak new. To explore with my family.
“If I feel God is small and boring then maybe I need to visit the vast ‘outside the box’ where He really lives. Maybe I need to go there.
“I’m scared of the IMPERFECT. If I try something new it will be scary, different. I might flub it up, make a fool of myself. But right now each day does not feel fresh and new because I live it the same. Nothing is engaging. Nothing new. No sense of adventure. This has to stop. I can change this merry-g0-round I am on.
“The predictable is safe. It is empty. God is not predictable. He is not safe, but He is good. I’m coming after you God, oh Romancer. I am coming after you. I am in love with you and feel you wooing me. The epiphany I’ve been searching for has hit me with a new drink in a new place.”
At this point I looked out the window of the restaurant and could see just the very corner of a banner blowing in the wind. All I could see on it was the word FREE.
“Thank you Jesus,” I wrote, “I’m coming your way.”
I’d like to tell you that my life has been amazing during the weeks that followed my bubble tea epiphany. I think I expected it to be.
It hasn’t.
I’ve tried some new things that have failed miserably, and I’ve been in a wrestle between listening to what I think I’m hearing from God and staying safe in the obedience of the rules of my religion.
I have not “arrived.”
But I feel like I am on to something, so I wanted to share it. I’m wading through the mess that comes with attempting to “soak in the different” and I’m not about to give it up just because it’s hard. I want to follow after God, and I know He’s bigger than me and my white, American, Christian, middle-class perspective. I’ve got to find Him, in all His Glory. Care to come along?
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Zoe teaches how to draw a girl and boy fairy and how to color them in. She also teaches on IMPERFECTION (in the 4th video). Love it.
Drawing Fairies from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
Drawing Fairies (2) from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
Drawing Fairies (3) from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
Drawing Fairies (4) from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
Drawing Fairies (5) from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
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We were inspired to make our own drawing videos. In these three videos Charis teaches how to draw and color a big rabbit.
Drawing a Bunny from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
Drawing a Bunny (2) from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
Drawing a Bunny (3) from Mandy Steward on Vimeo.
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This is how I imagine homeschooling should go. How I envision it. It is moments like these that revive my passion for this sort of learning all the more.
We read this book, City Hawk. Besides enjoying the great story about New York and its hawks, we were all taken by the cool paintings. Meghan’s illustrations are really fun.
After we finished the book, I noticed that her website was printed on the flap. My kids were totally into checking it out, and she didn’t disappoint. The website has all sorts of little things to explore.
My kids’ favorite by far was the videos of Meghan drawing and painting an astronaut. You can find them on this page.
Of course then we had to draw our own astronauts.
And then, we had to try our hand at painting. I’ve been a bit intimidated by acrylic paints and use them sparingly. But this time we jumped and didn’t look back. (Thanks Meghan for giving us permission to do so.) I drew a few little characters for us to paint.
I poured out a little plate of paint for each of us, and we learned how to mix our own colors. So that this soon became…
This.
I can’t tell you how much this overjoys me. I thought you might need a degree in art from some prestigious school to mix colors such as these. Turns out you just need the guts to get your hands and paint brushes and a plate dirty. The guts to not be afraid to fail. I told my kids about primary colors and secondary colors and then they went full speed ahead. Making colors I hadn’t even fathomed yet. Kids have guts. Don’t believe me? Paint with a kid. You’ll see.
The last rabbit trail we went down was making our own drawing videos. My kids thought it would be cool to have movies of them teaching other kids how to draw some of their own creations. So we did it. I’ll show you soon in another post.
I wish everyday of homeschooling was this glorious. I’m also thinking about buying a bunch of canvases (somethinge else I don’t have the guts to do) so we can all paint on them together. Hmmmm.
What do you not have the guts to do? Can you change that?
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Things did not go as I had planned today.
It’s not really like I had some great master plan for the day. That’s the weirdest thing about it. It’s just as the day unfolded, the details became surprisingly out of my control, and I let that get to me.
Here’s how some of it went:
The more I write this list though, and vent through the written (or in this case typed) word, I see the pettiness that has played out in our day. I see that one very small thing, built on another very small thing, until we were being crushed under a snowball of petty arguments and frustrations. I see that really, Satan only needed to set the first thing in motion, and how fantastically (i say tongue in cheek) we were able to take it from there, turning our morning and early afternoon into a disastrous minefield.
It doesn’t help that this day followed a beautiful day with my kids yesterday - as near perfect as they probably will come. A bad day following a good day always feels even more wretched than it is. Why can’t they all be glorious?
Here’s the magic though. The magic isn’t making every day perfect. That is, quite honestly, impossible, much to my disappointment. The magic is in taking a train wreck of a day and analyzing it, chewing on it, accepting it and then asking God to come and totally redeem it.
I can hardly wait for the moment my kids awake from their rests. We will take a dreadfully imperfect day (a poopy day, as I may or may not have described it to my kids) and turn it around. With Christ, imperfection can not defeat us, it can only distract us.
I’m getting us back on track. My tool of choice? Laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. If it can be done, I am determined to achieve it.
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When we go out on walks we always bring something back for our bowl. It’s a bowl of “found” stuff.
On Saturday I decided it might be fun to paint the stuff in our bowl.
We started out just adding lots of color, but as might be expected, faces started to emerge.
Luther? He hung out on my lap and ate my camera strap. Good times.
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